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General

My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel…

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But can't figure out why My dates are always upset when I tell them I'm a bus driver!?

by r/dadjokes
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General
Jesus walked into a bar, saw a Russian with a glass of water, and asked, "My son, are you a believer?" The Russian replied, "No." With a wave of his hand, Jesus changed it to a glass of wine. "Well my son, do you believe now?" The Russian frowned and shook his head. The next day Jesus went into the bar, saw the same man, and said "My son, are you a believer yet?" The Russian replied, "No." Jesus waved his hands and behold! The glass again was changed to wine. "Well my son, now you must surely believe," said, Jesus, but the Russian just frowned and shook his head. On the third day, Jesus entered the bar and went over to the Russian. "My son, are you a believer yet?" The Russian looked up and snarled...
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"If I say yes will you leave my vodka alone?"
by r/jokes
General
A woman, upset that her husband came home late from golf again, decided to teach him a lesson. She left a note on the dresser that read: "I've had enough. I'm leaving you. Don't try to find me." Then she hid under the bed to watch his reaction. Soon, her husband came home. She heard him moving around, then he entered the bedroom, picked up the note, and read it. After a moment, he scribbled something on the paper and made a phone call. "She's finally gone. Yep, it's about time. I'm on my way now," he said happily. He grabbed his keys and left. Furious, the woman crawled out from under the bed, grabbed the note, and read what he had written:
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"I can see your feet. We're out of bread. Be back in five minutes."
by r/jokes
General
What kind of overalls does Mario wear?
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Denim. Denim. Denim.
by JokesterBay