I woke up to a blow job today.… — JokesterBay

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🔞 Adult

I woke up to a blow job today.

Punchline — tap to reveal

Last time I fall asleep in the park with my mouth open.

by JokesterBay

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🔞 Adult

What do you call a pickpocket vs. a peeping tom?

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One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

🔞 Adult

A woman walks into a car dealership to browse around. Not really planning to buy anything. In the showroom, she sees a beautiful convertible with a leather interior. She reaches down to touch the seat and accidentally and lets a fart go. To her terror, she looks up and sees a salesman was just heading her way. Hoping the salesman didn't hear her, she plays it cool and says, "Excuse me, how much is this car. I'm thinking of purchasing it for my husband." The salesman says...

Punchline — tap to reveal

"Lady, if you farted from touching the leather, you're gonna shit when you hear the price."

🔞 Adult

2 gay guys are going at it when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out first, the top or the bottom?

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The bottom — he already had his shit packed.