I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.… — JokesterBay

Dad Jokes

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.

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She looked surprised.

by BrowsHaveIt

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Dad Jokes

My 5 year old nephew came up to me with an outstretched hand holding an acorn. "Uncle, what's this?" he asks. "That? That's a tree!" I replied "This is a tree?" he asks with a wrinkled look.

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"Yeah, in a nutshell!" I said.

Dad Jokes

I wanted to take my family on vacation. There was a sign that said 'Disneyland Left.'

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So we turned around and went home.

Dad Jokes

An elderly Jewish man is on his deathbed. Summoning his last bit of strength, he lifts his head and whispers: "Is my beloved wife Sarah here with me?" And Sarah says, "Yes, I am here." He then says: "Are my children -- my wonderful children -- are they here with me?" And they reply, "Yes father, we are here with you to see you breathe your last." And he says: "And my beautiful grandchildren ... are they here with me as well?" And they too tell him that they are here. The old man lays back quietly, closes his eyes, and says:

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"If everybody is here ... why is the light on in the kitchen?"