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I'm on a seafood diet.

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I see food and I eat it.

by DadOfTheYear
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Dad Jokes
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender tells him "You know, we have a drink named after you?" The grasshopper answers...
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"You got a drink named Steve?"
by r/dadjokes
Dad Jokes
As soon as I walked in the door, my wife said "You need to do more chores around the house" "I'm tired" I said. "Can we please change the subject?"
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"Okay. More chores around the house need to be done by you."
by r/dadjokes
Dad Jokes
How does a polygamist hippy count all his wives?
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One Mrs. Hippy, two Mrs. Hippy...
by r/dadjokes