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Why did the can crusher quit his job?

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Because it was soda pressing.

by JokesterBay
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Dad Jokes
An elderly Jewish man is on his deathbed. Summoning his last bit of strength, he lifts his head and whispers: "Is my beloved wife Sarah here with me?" And Sarah says, "Yes, I am here." He then says: "Are my children -- my wonderful children -- are they here with me?" And they reply, "Yes father, we are here with you to see you breathe your last." And he says: "And my beautiful grandchildren ... are they here with me as well?" And they too tell him that they are here. The old man lays back quietly, closes his eyes, and says:
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"If everybody is here ... why is the light on in the kitchen?"
by r/jokes
Dad Jokes
Who were the five most constipated men in the Bible?
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Cain - He wasn't Abel. King David - Heaven and Earth couldn't move him. King Solomon - He sat on the throne for 40 years. Moses - He took two tablets and went up on the mountain. And Noah - He spent 40 days and 40 nights in the Ark, and passed nothing but water.
by r/dadjokes
Dad Jokes
Somebody born in '33 was 45 in '78
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Must be some sort of record
by r/jokes